BREAK!

That's right! I'm taking a short break from the competition, first to let you know what I've got in the large plastic bag next to my computer, and secondly to describe the test run I'm about to go through.

Firstly...firstly? That a word?

Anyway...I say anyway a lot...

Well, (there we go) the bag contains twenty dollars worth of horrible movies, about 30 or so to be exact. A friend of mine sells them online (they're the dollar store DVD's you see around) and I decided to be a customer and buy a very large supply of horrible, horrible, horrible movies. How bad? I'm going to see. Then I decided I can make a little game of it, of a sorts.

I'm going to see how long I can watch the movie before stopping and going to do something else.

For example, I started (randomly) with "Stateline Motel" and found it marginally entertaining. It co-stars the very fine method actor, Eli Wallach (he was 'the ugly' in 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'), has a satisfactory car chase (although the main character and Eli magically switch seats in one scene, along with the steering wheel), and a funny opening scene where the main character is released from prison and then immediately goes with Eli to rob a jewelry store.

After a while Eli left though, and we watch the main character get his car 'stuck' on about two inches of snow, leading him to need to go get help...and then I got bored, shutting the movie off for now...at 17 minutes, 52 seconds.

Not bad, considering I only got six minutes into Ninja Death 2 before shutting it off and then banging my head against my desk (I'm saving that one for Jen and Pat's), which made me wonder...how are these movies going to measure up? Which ones will I be able to go the longest with, and which the shortest.

If people want to guess, I'll even try and figure out a prize of some sorts, if they can figure which of these movies, based on titles along, I will go the furthest with, and which one I'll go the least with (not counting the two I've listed above).

The beautiful list of titles (with some additional notes) are:


Slave of the Cannibal God (exactly what it sounds like)

Deadly Impact (Fred Williamson blacksploitation)

Death Journey (ditto)

Project Kill (secret spy action starring...Leslie Nielson?!)

Mutant (produced by Dick Clark...I checked, not that Dick Clark)

Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (you have to see the back of the package to believe it)

Ninja American Warrior (shouldn't it be American Ninja Warrior?)

Virgin Terror (you can guess)

Spider's Venom (the main chick's hot, looks like Carol Cleveland)

The Street Fighter's Last Revenge (the third in the series, apparently)

Hitler: Dead of Alive (great title)

Prison Break (from 1938, and you can really tell)

Ransom Money (it says the surprise ending on back. Huh?)

Desert Commandos (WW2 guys on the front, Desert Storm guys on back. Wha?)

Legend of the 8 Samurai (no idea, I got it because it comes with the movie...)

Deady Buddhist Raiders (They raid, feel satisfied with what they already have, then burn)

Dementia 13 (a Francis Ford Coppola movie...it's supposed to be good, but who knows)

Murder at Midnight (you'll never guess what happens)

Incident on a Dark Street (Shatner! He's a cop!)

Incubus (More Shatner! He's an exorcist!)

WAIT, WHAT?

You heard me, Amber! Now hold on, I'm not finished yet!


Rage of the Master (doesn't appear to have rage, nor a master)

Snake Crane Secert (that's exactly how it's written on the case)

The Satanic Rites of Dracula (Christopher Lee is Dracula! Moria...)

Horror Express (Chris Lee is on a monster infested train! Mordor...)

Dead Men Walk (Black and White zombie revenge flick)

The Monster Maker (Uh...guy makes monsters. Go fig.)

Dog Day (I hope Lee Marvin was paid well for this crappy criminal on the run flick)

Condition Red (Prison guard hooks up with female prisoner...I was hoping they meant 'red alert' and involved submarines)

A Conneticut Yankee in King Arthur's court (only 55 minutes long...that's a bad sign)

The Amazing Mr. Blunden (time traveling kids foil robbers...99 minutes long...great)


There we go! Thirty turkeys! Can you guess which one is going to last the most, and least amount of time? Post some guesses and we'll see!

Anyway, it's time for the trial run.


MAX VERSUS THE INTERNET...TRIAL RUN?


You see, I'm not sure if the next challenge will work or not...to eliminate the suspense, it's with www.fanfiction.net, but how to challenge? The Judge declared that it's not really fair to compare my writing, a 28 year old amateur writer and college graduate, against the work of an young teen girl who's barely started high school...but what if I only had ten minutes?

I couldn't write a whole story of course, but if I, in ten minutes, could throw together a fragment of a story that's better than the fan fic writer's (who has had an unlimited amount of time to prepare) and with exactly the same premise...I think I'd score a point. Best out of three points wins!

The Judge is a little shaky on the premise though, and has prepared a 'Test premise' for me to use. I'll do my best to throw together a short story based on that premise in ten minutes, with no preparation.

Ready! Set!

The premise is...

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows My take on the last book!!!111 CHAPTER 3: Harry and Draco are trapped in an elevator together and true feelings are revealed! But when things look bad a guest star Crossover anime character and my own orginally charrie shows up to save the day!!! This fic is rated M for leMon!!!! plz r&r!!!!1111one"

You're a cruel woman Amby...BUT NOT CRUEL ENOUGH!


CHAPTER 3: AN UNTIMELY INTERRUPTION

Ranma shimmied down the ladder in the elevator shaft as best he could, barely ahead of the lumbering King Torg. Ranma was beginning to worry, knowing that if the big guy slipped, he'd be smashed flat against the elevator below. The fact the self proclaimed 'King' was climbing down one handed, while making out with Nibiki, was not helping out his nerves.

"Will the two of you knock it off! Harry and Draco are going to die if we don't get there soon!"

Torg pulled himself off Ranma's exhaused, soon to be sister in law, and yelled down,

"Can't they just 'magic' themselves out or something? This chick is so ready..."

Ranma rolled his eyes and quickly squirmed down below, where he saw the outline of what appeared to be an elevator. He was about to yell up at the idiotic half pig-demon guy, when he heard voices from below,

"What do you mean you don't have one?"

A squeaky, shrill voice rattled out, echoing through the darkness. A slightly deeper voice shot back,

"Well why would I have one with me? It's not like I was expecting this to...well can't you just magic one up or something?"

A low, shrill growl hissed back, like a snake,

"Why the hell would there be a spell like that for?!"

"For situations like this, I'd imagine. Can't we just...you know, not use one?"

The shrill voice became slightly annoyed, spewing back,

"If I'm going where Weasley's been, I'm sure as hell wearing one."

King Torg shimmied down, leaving the exhausted Nibiki further up, to catch her breath. He slid down towards Ranma and casually asked,

"What I miss?"

"Huh? Oh nothing...say, could you throw these into the elevator down there?"

Torg took the small handful of material, quickly leapt down, opened the hatch and tossed them in.

Harry and Draco looked down at the floor and saw...a zip lock bag and a rubber band.

Harry snapped his head up and snarled,

"OH, HA HA GUYS! HA HA...what?"

Draco look from the bag to the rubber band and wondered,

"Do you think it would..."

"NO!!!"