MEGAN FOX'S WEIRD THUMB ONLY MAKES HER HOTTER

Ever see her weird thumb? If not, go check now.

Isn't that weird? Regardless, it only makes her hotter. Why? Because now she seems more accessible. Now guys can imagine her crying about her weird thumb, and we console her, assuring her that she's gorgeous, and it makes her so happy, and then we have sex.

Only if we're not already in committed relationships, of course. ^_^

Anyway, I'm going to take a moment and defend Transformers 2. People keep saying it has virtually no plot, and it's all about robots fighting and Megan Fox running in slow motion.

That's all very true...and I'm trying to see what the problem is. That's pretty much all the movie's main selling points.

Yes, there are numerous plot holes...an incredible number in fact, including why the Autobots never seem to be around when they're needed, why Sam doesn't tell anyone about the shard of the cube, why Megan Fox doesn't have a bikini scene, and the complete lack of dinobots.

Regardless, there are some things I'm going to defend as not being plot holes:

Why/how did the Decepticons get their agent into Sam's college, when doing so would take months to arrange, and they only found out about the shard the day before? She's a shapeshifter, so I'm assuming she killed a real girl and took her identity. It'd be a LOT easier than the alternative.

Why could the shard bring Megatron and Jetfire back to life, but not Optimus? Jetfire was just hibernating, and Megatron was re-assembled first. The Decepticons simply have an AWESOME doctor, and Rachett is a really crappy one. Of course, they had to kill a fellow Decepticon to do it too, and the autobots wouldn't do that. In other words, those Decepticons were just 'mostly dead', and Optimus was 'dead dead'.

The Autobots were hunting and killing hiding Decepticons, giving them no chance to surrender. Isn't that really dark/unethical? Yup, but this is war, kid, it ain't pretty. Also, that Decepticon at the beginning caused the chemical spill, so they weren't exactly innocent.

Now that those are out of the way, let's move on to a few new plot holes, that I noticed with the repeat viewing:

1. Why is there a tiger in Egypt? Did it escape from the zoo? Tigers are from central and east Asia. It might as well have been a kangaroo.

2. Remember the scene where wheelie shows the points on the map, where the hidden old robots are? They say 'there's one in Washington DC'. Actually, there wasn't. The closest were ones in Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

3. Why is the film from the 1930's in full color?

4. Why is Egypt so empty? Africa is one of the most crowded places in the world. Where is everybody?!

5. Why is every person in Egypt either a dirt poor farmer or soldier? I'll answer this one: Michael Bay is racist. Look at the RC twins and tell me otherwise. Seriously though, that's just how he envisions all African people, but you'd think that the Egyptian Pyramids would have more of a tourist trade. People living in ruins? I google image searched Egypt Pyramids and got this picture:



I don't think Michael Bay has any clue what Egypt really looks like.


6. Why did Megatron shrink? I know they rebuilt him, but did they really need to rebuild him smaller? In the first movie he was HUGE! Now he's barely larger than Starscream.

7. Where the hell are all the Autobots going?! Yes, I know that isn't a 'new' complaint, but seriously! Every five minutes, half the cast disappears! Where the hell is Bumblebee when Sam/Optimus needs them? Where did the RC twins go at the end (to the scrap heap, hopefully)?

8. Megan Fox, in a downright bizarre film flub, appears clothed in all of her scenes.

I cannot stress the last point enough.