Well, at least Merry loves me. ^_^

As for the rest of you, I guess I'll just have to up the ante with the controversial remarks in order to get more comments:

With the exception of Great Danes, all dogs are ruthless killers, trained by ex-KGB agents. Laugh if you want, but you won't be laughing when Wishbone snaps your neck like a stalk of celery while you're asleep.

FRANK'S QUESTION

Q. If you could put anyone you wanted in any position within the government, who would they be, and what positions would they have?

A. This question has the potential to become the largest and most epic of all time...if I actually had any faith in politics.

Oh sure, I vote, but as far as I'm concerned the real power is with the parties, not the individual candidates, and the reason the parties are powerful is because they know exactly how to work the system to get what the want, which is usually to have the public vote for their party again in two years.

No, whoever I posted to the positions of high power wouldn't actually be able to use any of that high power. Oh sure, I could raise great ex-presidents back from the dead using powerful dark necromancy, but my lawyer has advised me that the public consider raising the dead 'morally and ethically ambiguous'. We're trying to start a necromancy revival by showing loops of Thriller on VH-1, but that could take weeks.

Besides, a lot of the power of those ancient statesmen came from their parties, or only worked in that particular era. Too bad, as I'd love to get James K. Polk back into the game. Now there's a president that could achieve his goals!

Excerpt from parting address

...and so my fellow Americans, as I take my leave, and my presidency comes to a close, I ask you to look to our nation's new western neighbor...THE PACIFIC OCEAN! BOO-YAKA!!! [Kicks Spanish embassador in crotch]

Good times...

Anyway, since I have no faith in the system, the only real impact my choice would have would be on entertainment. To put it more clearly, the question comes down to: who do I want to see on the news every night?

Just think of it, you could turn on the television right now, at any time of the day or night, and see the president waving, giving a speech or answering questions...okay, our current president hasn't been answering many questions, but he's got waving and speeches down to a science...a very repetitive science.

Who would I want to see up there? No question about it, Tim Curry.

The man never fails to entertain, and he's responsible for the success of Clue, Rocky Horror Picture Show, the underrated Oscar, the 'desperately in need of a revival' Duckman, the 'in need of just a little more respect than it has now' Muppet's Treasure Island, countless stage productions, and also some of the worst TV shows/movies known to man.

Yes, he's been in a lot more awful movies/shows than good ones, but that's exactly what I love about him. Just as a show gets absolutely terrible, and I'm desperately clawing for the remote, Tim Curry swings in and saves the day! His list of movies/shows/games personally saved include, but are not limited to: the Gabriel Knight Series, Frankenstein: Through the Eyes of the Monster, Ferngully, Legend, Loaded Weapon (okay that still would have been funny, but he sure helped), Home Alone 2, Charlie's Angels, and virtually every kid's show ever made!

There's no one I'd rather see in the drab and played out part of President then my favorite Mad Scientist Butler! Will he be creepy, yet approachable like in Oscar? Will he be formal and zany like in Clue? Will he march to the tune of 'Hail to the Chief' in full drag?!

Okay, I hope he won't do that last thing...we don't need to see that...still, I'll certainly be watching the news more often! I can see him standing there with his wife...

Oh wait, he isn't married. He can't go Buchanan, he needs a first lady! I'm going to go ahead and pick that too...let's see...Lucy Liu? No. Dolly Parton? No, but closer than you'd think. I love to hear her talk, but if she won she'd be doing a lot of singing, and I'm not a country music kind of guy.

No, I'm going to go with Katey Sagal, who may or may not be the oldest woman I want to sleep with (I have neither confirmed or denied this). Katey's known best for her roles as Peggy Bundy on Married With Children, Leela on Futurama, and a very awkward stint on 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter.

I can see it all now! Tim Currey's getting ready to go perform on broadway when Katey stomps in holding the speech to that night's press conference. Where did she find it? In the trash!

By the way, I fully expect to see all of this on the news, play by play.

So anyway, Katey's furious and tells Tim that he can't do the show, when who should spin into the room with a wacky plan to do both the play and the conference in the same building, with president Curry running back and forth from both? Why it's our very own vice-president...MARK HAMILL!

They proved themselves a great team in the Gabriel Knight series, and the role of Vice President hasn't been hammed up properly since Quayle! Enough with the Gore and Cheney, we need a VP that can keep us rolling in the isles. Besides, he was Luke Skywalker for Christ's sake, that's got to count for something!

[Re-watches Star Wars Episodes 1, 2 and 3]

Okay, maybe it doesn't count for as much as it used it, but still, he never fails to entertain, and there's nobody I'd rather see beside our president as he hastily sheds his Spamalot outfit and rushes to give the big speech while unknowingly still wearing his King Arthur helment!

Then, after the third season...I mean, third year of presidency, when things start to go slightly stale, that's when Curry and Hamill's rivals come onto the scene: Presidential candidate Christopher Walken and his Vice-Presidential candidate William Shatner!

Hmm...we could always reverse the order...but I'd probably rather hear Walken give a creepy monologue on the importance of foriegn policy, civic duty and his desire to drive directly into oncoming traffic than watch Shatner rap.

The unlikely pair should give Prez Curry and VP Hamill a run for their money in the midterim election, but an incredibly wacky misadventure reveals their opponent's corruption, but by then their opponents had already gotten a lot of votes, so when the votes are all tallied, they discover...

IT'S A TIE!

Both sides got exactly the same number of votes! The Supreme Court unanimously decides that this means both men must SIMULTANEOUSLY be president! Two presidents and two vice presidents! Oh how will this end?!

Tune into the news every single night, or CNN at virtually any time of the day to find out!

I give it eight seasons! (Nine if there's a war)

[EDIT: Upon further review, Carol Cleveland, the Monty Python girl, is the oldest woman I want to sleep with. She'll be starring in double roles as both President Curry's Chief of Staff, and a French maid.]